Alright–if you read the blog below you know I recently got back from Germany for the 2009 GamesCom conference. I already linked to my impressions from the show floor and shared pictures of the elaborate booth setups by publishers from all over the world. Now it’s time for the cultural stuff.  Between touring Cologne and Bonn, the birthplace of Beethoven, there was an impressive amount of stuff to see. Read on for more details!

We arrived in Germany on Tuesday in the early morning and spent all of Wednesday through Saturday working and walking the streets of Cologne in the evenings after posting our impressions for the day. Much of our nights were spent with friends from various PR outlets, having dinner at traditional German restaurants. Needless to say, we had our fair share of beer, meat, potatoes and sauerkraut.

Sunday was the day we tried to fit as much in as possible. We started off the morning off at the Dom Cathedral, the pride and joy of Cologne. The cathedral is one of the only remaining landmark cathedrals in Germany, surviving the war because of it’s use as a reference point for air-crafts flying overhead. If it had been destroyed it would have been a travesty, as it took over 600 years to build and is breathtaking in every way imaginable. We woke up bright and early on Sunday and entered the cathedral right as the sun began to shine through the giant stain glass windows at the end of the hall. The windows, mosaics and gilded reliefs on the wall were phenomenal, and it is easy to see why people are inspired to praise a greater power when standing among such magnificence.

Another highlight of the cathedral was the view from the top, which require a 5 Euro donation and the will to climb 500 steps up a narrow, spiral staircase. The three of us (Brian, Jeff and myself) decided to brave the journey and completed it in about 15 minutes. I have to admit I stopped once to catch my breath and stop my head from spinning–the tight spiraling was tough to stomach. I did better than some though, as a woman passed me at one point carrying a bag of vomit.

The view from the top was worth the trip and gave us a birds eye view of the entire city. Getting down the stairs was obviously easier, and we made it down just before the bells started ringing, which we assume would have been deafening from the top of the tower.

After the visit to the cathedral we bought train tickets and took a day trip out to Bonn, a twenty minute ride tops. The city was much smaller than Cologne and was a perfect place for a walking tour of various historical sites, including Beethoven’s house, several smaller but no less beautiful cathedrals and the Bonn University. We also spent a large chunk of time at a botanical garden, which proved to be a fantastic place for photos.

We ended the day and the trip back in Cologne, venturing out to a restaurant that we discovered in a tourist guide. The “XXL” restaurant specialized in–you guessed it–XXL food. The gimmick was that if you can finish the largest portion of a given meal in under an hour, the price would be cut in half. If you couldn’t finish it, the price would go up five euro, which is donated to charity. After being offered, and turning down, a three liter beer, we decided to pass up the Big Big burger in favor of the Little Big burger. The deciding factor was seeing a young child at a neighboring table being surved a burger the size of a dinner plate. When our burgers came out we realised that that what the child had was the Little Big burger after all and that the Big Big burger was the size of a serving tray. To our disgrace, none of us were able to finish our meals, but the whole ordeal made for a good photo op.

Lots of other smaller experiences made the trip a memorable one and I decided to end this post with a top ten list of things I learned while abroad, in no particular order. Enjoy!

10) In Cologne the beers are disappointingly small. We finally asked a waitress why this was the case and she said that they preferred to keep their beer fresh, so all tap beer comes in a glass smaller than a 12-oz bottle. The explanation made sense, but we were still a bit disappointed that beer maids carrying overflowing mugs of ale were not to be seen.

9)Speaking of beer, each major city appears to have a brand of beer. So if you order “beer” in Cologne, expect to get their local brew, Kolsch.

White pants are an epidemic for both men and women in Cologne. Seriously. If I ever considered buying a pair of white slacks, Germany has convinced me otherwise.

7)Bachelor and Bachelorette parties are a huge ordeal. Walking the streets on Friday and Saturday night we ran into at least twenty separate groups. Most wore matching shirts and carried open bottles of liquor. It was funny to say the least.

6) Evidently it is possible to have a massage that includes the genital area and a “happy ending” without “any sexual exchange.” The bulk of the tourism guide we were given included information about massage parlors, strip clubs, brothels and call girls.

5) Seedy must not mean the same thing to Germans as it does to us. One particular location advertised in the above tourism book was described as “delightfully seedy.” It also included a warning that your taxi driver may try to talk you out of going to the location, but only because they were paid per head to instead bring customers to a different adult entertainment establishment.

4) German cats look no different than American cats. Duh. Still, I saw a cat in a window in Bonn and snapped a photo anyway. I called it German Cat.

3)Bratwurst and Metwurst are the only safe meals if you are not up for experimenting with meat. Good thing that both of the above are fantastic when served with potatoes and sauerkraut.

2) Not all of Germany is mountainous. Much to my disappointment, Northern Germany isn’t the same as in the south. If I had consulted a map prior to our trip, I would have been aware of this. Instead, I descended into Cologne in a small prop plane with a saddened heart as only small hills awaited. *sigh*

1)Nudity is a-okay in Germany. Even if it isn’t. Much more laid-back than in the US, it isn’t uncommon to see topless women in advertising and on magazine covers. Or a billboard with a slightly bent bare ass advertising the benefits of a particular gym. Of course this can also work against you, with a very overweight man in the hotel across the street from me opting to wear a Speedo out on his patio all night. You win some and you lose some.

Want to check out my full gallery of images from the trip? Click here!